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| 0.75-carat diamond ring from
Zales. | |
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| 1.5 - 3 carats from Tiffany's or Harry
Winston. | |
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| Whatever, just as long as you've also got a
37-carat blue-white diamond cross a la Madonna, or
something on loan from Van Cleef &
Arpels. | |
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| Tiffany-esque engraving, oversized to announce
its importance. | |
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| Real Tiffany's engraving, cream color with
script, understated to announce its
importance. | |
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| No formal written invitation; often a letter,
hand-delivered, will state the arrangements. No response
card necessary; what Madonna wants Madonna
gets | |
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| None, for fear of tabloid publicity (outside the
usual diet of strippers, hookers, beer, and martinis, of
course). | |
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| 150 (cousins you've never met, cousins you've met
and don't quite like, high school pals, drinking
buddies, uncle Joey if he gets out of jail in
time). | |
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| 150 to 300 (politicos, lobbyists, clients,
ex-spouses). | |
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| 500+ (bodyguards, agents, publicists, hair and
makeup artists, personal assistants, dog groomers,
uninvited journalists, one lucky sweepstakes
winner). | |
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| Best friend from junior high/favorite frat
brother. | |
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| Daughter/son from a previous
marriage. | |
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| Your gown designer (in Madonna's case it was
Stella McCartney). | |
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| $400 - $2500 for a gown in any wedding gown
outlet or department
store. | |
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| $5000 - $15000 for a Vera Wang
gown. | |
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| Vera Wang will personally design your gown for
$25000+. Catherine Zeta-Jones's gown was designed by
Christain Lacroix and reportedly cost over
$100,000. | |
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| Groom and groomsmen will rent the same boxy style
for about $100 each; black tie and cummerbund are still
the standard, but if they're feelin' particularly racy a
red paisley vest-and-tie combo may be in
order. | |
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| Styles may not be uniform because these men own
their own tuxes, for which they paid about
$500. | |
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| The designer of the gown will also design the
tux. Or you might wear a kilt with nothing underneath
(for which Guy Ritchie paid a reported
$2,000). | |
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| Either someplace fantastically expensive — like
Skibo Castle in Dornoch — or someplace stupendously
cheap — like the Little Church of the West in Las Vegas
(site of the Jolie-Thornton
union). | |
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| Local country club or a tent in daddy's
backyard. | |
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| A Soho loft or the bride's family's
yacht. | |
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| Take your pick: Scottish castle, the Plaza,
Malibu manse — or just somewhere really expensive to get
to. | |
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| The standard tier cake, at $2-4 per
person. | |
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| The same rate, but a layered cake is more
common. | |
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| Michael and Catherine's cake had ten stories.
Yours better have 11. | |
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| Target, Crate & Barrel,
Macy's. | |
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| Colombian dealers, Third World governments, or no
registry — just deposit your gift in the Swiss
account. | |
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| Add a few more zeroes. $1 mil for Brad and
Jennifer, $1.75-2 mil for Michael and Catherine, $2.2
mil for Madonna and Guy — but only $189 for Angie and
Billy Bob, plus gas
money. | |
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